milestones NEW!

moonshine NEW!

subscribe to our print edition NEW!

2007-08 Cigarettes for babies NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

2007-08 Fast food cartoon - by Gator NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

2007-08 GEICO sued over caveman ads NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

2007-08 Galveston man back from Gitmo NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

2007-08 Gov Perry signs Enhanced Voting bill NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

2007-08 Letters to the Poor Bastard who opens our mail NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

2007-08 Preacher was merely counseling teen slut NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

2007-08 Save your kids from DRUGS NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

2007-08 Support the unborn troops NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

2007-08 The perils of titty-shot Tuesday NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

2007-08 misteak in our last issue NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

2007-09-Actual news NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

2007-10-Actual News NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

2007-10 Funny ads NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

2007-11-Actual News NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

2007-12-Actual News NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

ASSCRAP UPDATE NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

ASSCRAP WINS LEGAL HURDLE PLANS TO CHARGE EAR FEES NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Accused Pothead Held For Contempt NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Actual News-2008-01 NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Actual News-2008-02 NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Angry Moms Protest New Baby Food NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Attraction closes on 1st day NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Bartender Accidentally Eats Shrooms NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Beer For Sex Scheme Backfires NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Blind Group Sues Over SOB Laws NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Boob Job Benefit Gets Corporate Sponsor NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

CIRCUS PERFORMERS IN FREAK ACCIDENT NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Conspiracy Theorist Convention Cancelled NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Cops Cleared In Homicide NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Couple Found Frozen In Parking Lot NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Cox Communications to buy Sears NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

DISPUTE RESULTS IN ARREST OF PASADENA MAN NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

ELECTRICIAN TO BE CHARGED WITH BATTERY NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Erection To Commemorate Large Bust NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Escaped Psychopath Sought NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Former Enron Janitors Plea Guilty NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

GIRL WITH RARE DISEASE CAN EAT ONLY BELUGA CAVIAR NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

GROUP WANTS CRACK LEGALIZED NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Grease Fire Rages Across East Texas NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

HOW TO BUILD AN ATOM BOMB AT HOME IN YOUR SPARE TIME NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

HOW TO GET HAMMERED AND HAVE A LARGE TIME NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Habitual Offender Faces 25 Years NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Human Ass Found Floating In Bay NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Illegal Immigrants Returning To Mexico For American Jobs NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Inventors Display Amazes Onlookers NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

JURY AWARDS 500 BILLION TO NONSMOKER NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

KNIFE-CONTROL LEGISLATION ASKED NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

LOCAL CAT DESTROYS 200k PAINTING NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

LOCAL TEEN LANDS JOB WITH FORTUNE 500 COMPANY NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Last Attractive Katrina Female Has Been Rescued NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Local Lounge Singer Claims He Was Abducted By Illegal Aliens NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Local Woman Busted in Breast Trasnplant Scheme NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Lotto Winner Wakes Up Married After Drinking Binge NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

MAN ASSAULTED BY TWO-BIT WHORE NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

MARDI GRAS GALVESTON NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

MEXICAN SCIENTISTS COPY SHEEP NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

MISSING GIRL FOUND NAKED IN MANS BED NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

MOODY GARDENS WILL BUILD ARCTIC VILLAGE PYRAMID NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Mafia Will Open New Local Branch Offices Here NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Man In Witness-Protection Program Found Dead NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Man Is Providing Cats For The Homeless NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

McPissed Off McParents NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Medicinal Pothead Wins Case NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Miniature Capsule Will Carry Germs Throughout The Universe NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

NEW MAGAZINE TO BE INTRODUCED NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

NEW SMOKABLE NICOTINE STICKS MAY HELP SMOKERS QUIT NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Newspaper Sued For Libel NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Overflowing Toilets Blamed On Massive Grid Failure NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

PENIS REDUCTION SURGERY NOW AVAILABLE HERE NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

PETA PISSED ABOUT CAT FISHERMEN NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

POLECATS OVERCOME CRABS NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

POLICE INVESTIGATE DRAWINGS NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

POLICE SLOWLY BURNING MASSIVE POT STASH NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

PROTECTED WITNESS ARRIVES HERE NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Police Search For Suspect Who Crapped in Washing Machine NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

RARE DISEASE KEEPS WOMANS LEGS SPREAD NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

RESIDENTS WORRIED ABOUT NUCLEAR TESTS NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

RESTAURANT MUST CHANGE NAME NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

RICH GUY WINS YACHT RACE NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Recent Crime Wave Explained NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Retired GI Patents Roller Potty NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

SCAMS ARE RAMPANT POLICE CAUTION PUBLIC NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

SHRIMPERS FIND CAJUN SKULL IN BAY NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

SIGN VIOLATOR APPREHENDED - SUSPECTS ESCAPE NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

San Leon U Survives Season NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Santa Claus May Boycott Webster This Christmas Eve NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Sekula-Gibbs seeks to ban alcohol use in bars and nightclubs NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Siblings To Square Off In Court NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Smoking makes you taller NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

So Called Invisible Man Will Appear In Court NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Sober Bluesman Falls Off Wagon NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

TURDS MAY CAUSE STINK NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

Various Bush Stuff NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

WOMAN JAILED FOR BLOWING BUBBLES NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008

War On Terror Takes To The Trees NEW!

-

April 22nd, 2008