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U.S. Intelligence: Iran Possesses Trillions Of Potentially Dangerous Atoms
Barely two months after U.N. inspectors in Iran failed to find evidence of an active nuclear weapons program, the Department of Homeland Security uncovered new information last month proving the Middle Eastern nation has obtained literally trillions of atoms--the same particles sometimes used to make atomic bombs--for unknown purposes.
"We have no doubt that Iran now possesses an alarming number of atoms within its borders, despite countless warnings from the international community," Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff said at a press conference, as he pointed to a satellite image marked with dozens of locations where his office claims atoms are being stored. "The Iranians maintain these atoms are only being used to form the building blocks of existence, but we know for a fact that all Iranian guns, bullets, and other military devices are now constructed out of atoms."
The atoms, which DHS officials believe to be "the smallest indivisible units of any element" were first discovered in aerial photographs taken of an Iranian lavatory in central Ibinbad. When the photographs were enlarged several hundred billion times, clusters of atoms were spotted in large cargo trucks parked near the facility, in storage units on the grounds, and in the pockets, shoes, clothing, hair, and skin of several persons in a parking lot.
"Security checkpoints have been unable to stop the flow of atoms into Iran," Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said. "Even with the best equipment available, it is nearly impossible to distinguish dangerous atoms that could be used for the purposes of mass destruction from the kind of atoms that are functioning harmlessly." Added Rice: "We cannot afford to let these atoms fall into, or be a part of, the wrong hands, or the smoking cloud might turn out to be a mushroom gun."
Vice President Dick Cheney and his staff were briefed on the atomic situation in Iran by CIA staffers with the aid of colorful interlocking plastic models and a short film.
"The United States will not stand idly by, now that we have proof that Iran has the atom" Cheney said at a press conference.
Iranian officials claim the atoms are being used only for peaceful, normal, life-sustaining purposes, and that it is physically impossible for Iran or any government to create or destroy matter in order to comply with U.S. regulations. But officials in the administration discount this as propaganda.
A spokesman for the Iranian government has said that most Iranian atoms are privately owned, and not the responsibility of the political or religious government there. He says until recent years, most Iranians were not even aware of the existence of atoms in the middle-eastern country.
Next month, the United Nations will send a special team of investigators to Teheran to investigate whether there are atoms in the country. If inspectors find atoms inside Iraq, Cheney has vowed to demand that a coalition be formed to drop da bomb on Iran until all atoms have been safely destroyed.
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