Inventor's Display Amazes Onlookers

After being laid off by NASA, engineer and physician Basil Noregino started "puttering around" in the garage at his Webster home.
After several years, he was ready to display some of his inventions to the press and public. On December 7th, a day with great symbolism for him (his first sexual experience was on that date), Noregino publicly introduced over a dozen of his own inventions, including:
An automatic pencil sharpener sharpener; an improved type of cigarette butt; battery-powered miniature batteries; a remote controlled remote control; self-changing diapers; and a "smart" phone that is able to clone the owner's voice and carry on detailed conversations, including decision-making tasks.
Noregino is also working on a device that allow vision-impaired people to aim pistols.
He is also currently involved in a patent dispute with another inventor. Both claim to have invented transparent diapers.