GATORPRESS EXCLUSIVE:

Mafia Will Open New Local Branch Offices Here

(LEAGUE CITY) - After an absence of over twenty years, the Mafia has announced plans to resume operations in the Houston and Galveston areas. The announcement was made January 17th by Mafia spokesman Jerry "the Blade" Penissimo of the Gabardini Family.
Penissimo told a press conference in a League City park that the organization had closed down local operations in the early 1980's, due to a lack of cooperation with local political leaders and law enforcement. In addition, the group was unable to recruit a sufficient number of Sicilian males to keep operations going. During the 80's, Mafia branch offices all over the country closed down, and many feared the venerable organization would cease to exist. During the past year, however, there has been a resurgence of popularity. Last year, franchises were made available in select cities, and new branches began popping up faster than Starbucks Coffeehouses.
"We have opened up membership to other nationalities" Penissimo told reporters. "Our new operations in Texas will be managed by Cajuns from Louisiana". The group has recruited Jasper Fontenot to operate the League City branch. Fontenot is the former Supreme Armadillo of the Cajun Mafia.
The Cajun Mafia has always avoided traditional Mafia activities like loansharking and smuggling, and is best known for stealing pies. Pie theft however will be only a small part of the new operation. Plans call for extortion, gambling, and floating crap games in local bathrooms.