Medicinal Pothead Wins Case

A civil jury in Houston has cleared a San Leon resident of federal charges stemming from his use of so-called "medicinal" marijuana.
Joe Camel Blount was charged after Dr. Myron Quackenbush prescribed marijuana to treat a severe case of dandruff. Prosecutors described Blount as a "rabid, viperous, pot-crazed sex fiend ", while defense attorney Chief Hanker portrayed his client as an innocent victim and upstanding member of the community. He described to jurors how Blount "goes by the church 3 or 4 times a day" - but was refuted on cross-examination when prosecutors pointed out that he has never stopped, only driven past.
In the end, the jury, composed entirely of homeless bisexual latino tattoo artists, decided Blount was innocent, and charges were dismissed.
On hearing of the verdict, Dr. Quackenbush told Gator Press "What paper are you with? Nightmoves? ...hmmmm - never heard of it… no comment". Quackenbush is facing the possible revocation of his license to fish in a separate case.