PETA PISSED ABOUT CAT FISHERMEN

The PETA group (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) are in an uproar regarding the upcoming convention of Texas Cat Fishermen in San Leon, Texas.
PETA said in a press release that cat fishermen use a loophole in the law to engage in an activity that is "unusual in its' cruelty to felines". Cat fishermen reject such claims, saying that 99% of their activity is "catch and release".
San Leon was chosen to host the prestigious event due to the fact that the cat population there is second only to Katmandu. Many of the world record cats have been caught there, including a whopping 61 lb. Black Neutered Tomcat last July, and a 34 lb. Calico.
Cat fishermen normally use longbed pickup trucks as "boats", setting lawn chairs and coolers in the back. Favored baits include natural (chicken gizzards, mice) as well as artificial lures (wounded bird, fuzzyballs, etc.). On any weekend in San Leon, hundreds of cat fishermen show up in "land boats" to catch a few. "San Leon has got some fighters. I like a good fight" said Percival Lavicrep, an avid catfisher. Lavicrep has also fished Catalina Island, The Catskills, Catagonia, and the fabled Katmandu.
The PETA press conference, which was held at Joe's Butcher Shop, was interrupted by an angry swarm of rare Mexican flying spider-bees. The swarm attacked PETA spokesperson Lucie Uhlball, apparently attracted by her organic vegetable-based hair spray. She was rushed to the nearest facility, Bayside Veterinary Hospital and Beauty Salon. After a short pelvic exam, she was pronounced sane and released.
During the past year, there have been numerous unfortunate incidents involving PETA representatives. Bridger Clapse, a PETA Vice President, lost both ears and his wristwatch in a shark attack at Pasadena Beach in September. Local chapter historian Jennifer VonVuten was attacked by wild beavers in Santa Fe on Christmas Eve. In January, PETA Publicity Director Blasé B. Blasé was eaten by snakes in his hot tub. The group will hold protests during the convention, including a "Drink In" that will be held simultaneously at local bars.