San Leon U Survives Season

In the realm of collegiate football, the San Leon University of Technology is the smallest team in the weakest division of the AA. In spite of these handicaps they maintain.
In compiling a 4-7 regular season record the SLUT Puppies suffered the deaths of several of their starters as well as the maiming of their one-legged punter and the molestation of the team's mascot.
Coach "Smiling Jack" O'Hellno said in a typewritten press release that he expects to be paroled in time to coach the Puppies next year, and is hoping to be invited to the Weevil Bowl to take part in the Lighting Of the Bowl ceremony. In spite of their losing record it was an eventful year for the Puppies. One legged Punter Oswald McGumm kicked the winning punt in the final game of the season. McGumm, a senior, has already been drafted by the Kemah Clowns professional roller derby team in the 27th Round of the supplemental draft. Puppy Quarterback U.S. Holtz led the nation in reverse yardage, interceptions, and fractures - even though he missed the second half of the season due to a parole violation. Holtz is expected to spend the next 2-5 years as a guest of the state of Texas at no cost to himself.
2005 was the first year of football for San Leon, and the Puppies were sore and worn out by the time it was all over. Their defense allowed opponents to penetrate deeply and score often. They were banged, hammered, and drilled repeatedly, losing to the Texas Institute of Technical Science; Atheist Seminary of the South; Community University of North Texas; and the Forensic University of Central Kansas.